Dearest Friends,

I didn’t get freaky until 21.

Scratch that–

I didn’t get freaky deaky until 21.

After all, I was a young woman with an apartment of her own, indulging in everything but–

The choice to wait for marriage until having sex was mine. Yes, I grew up in a school environment that taught abstinence and self-loathing, but I also grew up in a home with an open and non-judgmental mother. 

Let’s face it, if you teach abstinence only and dirty up sex in our minds at an impressionable age, you are teaching self-loathing and self-hate, because we are humans gifted with raw, basic instincts and urges that need to be utilized and released.

Sex…ahhh…what a beautiful treasure from God bestowed upon us. 

When you gaze into the eyes of the one you know sees your complete soul, and cherishes you, at the same time as you mold around them–there’s a heartbreaking beauty to that moment. 

God created this for us.

Why shame young ones when you could teach them about sex as a gift?

Adolescents are intelligent, and information can only wisen up decisions. Lack of education has never advance any part of our humanity. I understand the wisdom behind waiting for marriage til sex based on the outcome that you’ll be with another who is committed to you–someone who cherishes you.

But what about those of us who marry without knowing the true nature of our mate? Those of us whom society says can’t marry. Marriage isn’t the end all.

Marriage is a construct. 

It looks different everywhere.

The devotion and self-less love is what matters–

because that’s what makes the coming together of two bodies exquisite. 

That, I believe, is the intent behind Abba’s kind and thought provoking words, “and the two shall become one…(Mark 10:8) “…he shall leave his mother and father and cling to her…” (Eph 5:31)

God isn’t restricting us. 

Hello–free will is His whole deal. 

He just loves us so much and sees our whole lives spread out before Him like a tapestry, so He offers omniscient wisdom to spare us from heart-wrenching pain.

He’s called a Good Good Father for a reason dear friends.

Six blissful years out of a toxic and abusive relationship, and I’m so grateful I was practicing celibacy the last three years of them, though my boyfriend wasn’t. 

When my ex and I were on our last break before he lured me back in, I had decided to become celibate to focus on my relationship with God and focus on me. I’d learned one-night stands weren’t great because the guy rarely took the time to figure out your body, or he just didn’t know what he was doing. So it made hookups whatever. However, if I hadn’t felt shame in the back of my mind, I’m sure I would’ve know what I liked, wanted, and how to make it happen.

When we got back together my ex said he was fine being celibate with me despite my numerous, “Are you sure’s?” But “yes” was just a word. They didn’t mean anything to him but arsenal to slowly steal my life away with one bullet at a time. So I’m glad for God’s kind reminder that “two become one,” because if I had joined with him those last years, sex would’ve also been weaponized against me. An entrapment of getting me with child, or a bodily way to dull my heart’s protest of wanting to escape him. I would’ve become absorbed within him. Two become one.

With my current partner I don’t call it love-making. We have love in abundance. 

I call it spiritjoining

Because that’s what it is when your soul feels cradled tenderly and wholeheartedly within another’s. 

That’s what Christian schools should be teaching.


Love Expression

Wrapping you in my shuka,

I gently scrape your back

Metal colliding with multicolored beads as my hands roam you

Bracelets clinking in encouragement 

I never wanted nor cared for being called sexy until you

You fill me with pools of desire

Rivers overflowing banks of ecstasy and joy

Within me or not,

thoughts of you and talks with you—float around my mind

Drifting down a sea of bliss, 

You capture my mouth—flicking your tongue before we kiss

Sighs of contentment and pleasure shimmer the air

Who breathed out or in



We are one soul

Can’t you see our bodies joined—rhythmic in splendor?

He communicates his love for me

—And I speak right back

Arching to meet his need and mine,

eyes fly open despite the sensation aroused when darkened by shuttered eyelids 

But my desire to hold his gaze as we climb and descend together is a need I have to fill

There’s no reason or inclination to stem the smile from spreading wide across my face

Wrapped within myself—a figure eight

I breathe in—grateful,

I breathe out—more than satisfied

Ending, I namaste

Because you are forever my blessing and my prayer

ASL | 11.2.19



A Woke Woman

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Published by Prncsslyssa

Big heart, big hair, big smile, big dreams

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